2p HetaOni: Steve's Nightmare
by RoxyT
Summary: Or should I say 2p! Heta- oh sh*t! We all knew Steve had this coming, but you just can't help but feel a bit sorry for the monster… Oh! That looked painful... XP
1. The Roomba Cheapskates

"Vehehe, we're he~re!" Feliciano sang this with an ominous tone somewhat similar to a little girl from a certain movie.  
Italy, Germany, Japan, and Prussia all stood in the middle of the forest where a rather large mansion with several windows, one tallish wooden door at the entrance, and signs of neglect from its not-so-recent abandonment could be seen.

Feeling a slight shudder up his spine, Ludwig groaned, "Do we have to?" It wasn't that he was scared or anything (yes, he was), it was the freaking long-ass walk here. Getting lost 3 times with these mentally/ emotionally unstable weirdoes was tiring enough, now he had to be a ghost buster or something.  
To his side, Gilbert nodded timidly, "Y-yeah… it's a bit…"  
"creepy as f*ck." Kiku finished with a scowl.

"Psh, cowards. C'mon, those dumb allies are coming here soon." The Italian brushed off their comments and headed toward the door. Reluctantly, they followed.

Inside the mansion, it was mysteriously free of most dust and other signs of neglect that could be seen outside.

"It's mysteriously free of dust and stuff." Ludwig voiced, unaware he had just repeated what the narrator described.  
"Oh yeah, it's _totally _abandoned." Kiku sarcastically said aloud as he eyed the suspiciously unsuspicious Italian who merely glanced around calmly and said offhandedly, "Hm? Must have one of those Roomba vacuums or something."

Hesitating, Gilbert managed to stutter out, "Uh… F-feliciano, are y-you hiding something?"  
The Prussian's concerns were caused by the cautiousness and anticipation from the Italian who looked as if he were expecting the ground to start shaking or a smoke bomb crash through the window and knock them out or an assassin to just shoot one of them at any time or- great, now he was getting paranoid. The Albino suddenly became alarmed and started to wring his pale hands.

Then, a crash from another room made them all jump- Gilbert especially who gave a small squeak. They all just stood there for a few moments when Feliciano turned to Kiku, "Aren't you gonna check that?"  
Bewildered at this question, the Japanese asked with a mix of offense, disgust, and confusion in his voice, "Why do I have to?"  
Sighing, he responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "It's our tradition."  
"W-wait, what the fu-"  
"Just do what he says, Kiks." Ludwig interrupted from his spot by the door with his brother; they kind of scooted towards it when they heard the crash.

"But I- why do… you are….. Fine." The frustrated and confused Japanese man gave up and trudged toward the sound of the crash.

After passing a bunch of similar-looking doors down the hallway and turning a corner or two, all Japan could find was a shattered plate in pieces on the floor. It wasn't even the nice, fine China kind. Stupid cheap past owners of this Roomba-filled mansion with its unlocked front door and ominous air and cheap furniture, utensils, and everything. Too stingy to waste money on a good plate to break?  
You know what? He's gonna take these shards and cut Italy and those two German cowards with them. Just for irony and kicks.  
Picking them up carelessly and cutting himself a tiny bit and shoving them away in a random hammer space, Kiku headed back to his "allies".

Now picture his reaction when he found them absent from the main hall. Okay, now imagine the words he practically growled out when he attempted to open the front door and find it locked. Got it? It was something, huh?  
'What kind of door locks you in your own house?!' He irritably thought during his rage which included slicing a nearby table with his katana and yelling out Japanese curse words, 'I'm gonna kill those mother…'

So a search for a way out of this dreaded place began for the Japanese. He started by attempting to escape through a window by breaking the glass, but they were barred. What was weird was that he didn't particularly remember that. Next, he tried kicking down the door off his hinges only to get a really hurt leg. Then, he attempted creating his own exit by destroying the wall, but he unfortunately didn't have the strength of neither Alfred nor Matthew- or a lot of other countries. Now, he decided to take a look around the mansion for another exit or something possibly alive he could maim.

Though, he couldn't help but feel as if someone were watching him as he pretended to casually glance behind him only to find no one there.

* * *

And here is our "intro" of sorts! Kiku is angry, Gilbert is dreading, Feliciano is being questionable, and Ludwig would rather be at home right now. Ghost busters~!


	2. Exploring the Mansion

Right after he found himself alone and locked in the mansion, Kiku began searching the mansion. He decided to go straight from the entrance into another hall and soon found himself looking at a room filled with armor and swords. It took him back to his samurai days.

That's when he noticed the little red box in the corner of the room. Cautiously walking toward it, the Japanese man found a note that said, "Fix the piano, repair the toilet, and leave the aid kit in the drawer on the second floor."  
Staring blankly at the piece of paper, he shrugged, "Meh."

Now bored with this room, Japan stood up and walked back to the main hall. Next, he headed toward the hall to his left, passing by another locked door. Every door here was locked.  
'I wonder how the Roomba gets around…' he thought as he turned a corner and continued. You know those things can be expensive. Somebody actually made a video game about it; it wasn't fun at all. He remembered seeing this one guy-

"WHAT THE F*CK?!" Kiku exclaimed this when he found himself staring at… gray ass. In front of him was something twice his size, had a large egg–like head, was gray, and had no clothes or anything to cover up dat ass. He was _so_ glad it had its back to him.  
Whatever _it_ was probably heard him and quickly exited into the door in front of him which did not make any sense because the door was far too small to fit that enormous football head, let alone its entire body. This left the black-haired nation staring with his jaw dropped and eyes wide, "What just…? Am I high, again?"

Deciding it was best not to follow the naked-creature-monster-abomination-thing into the physic-defying door since he liked his sanity; Kiku took a right and ended up in a bathroom. It was dusty. That was expected, though, considering the fact that this was an abandoned mansion, this was the only room that makes sense.  
Everything was covered in dust. The mirror had a good layer covering itself, the cabinet had plenty to spare, and the toilet… was just a toilet. If he wanted to sneeze or take a piss, he'll come here later.

* * *

Maybe the 2nd floor will be more eventful than just dust and broken plates.

Taking his time up the stairs, Kiku couldn't help but think back to that… thing back by the bathroom earlier. Would it kill it to put on some clothes? Then again, it'd be pretty difficult finding a shirt with a neck hole to fit that planet of a skull. Wait, was he even worried about whether or not that thing will hurt him? This guy...

Taking a left, he tried to open the door on his left only to find it locked. So he went right~!

The room was pretty normal and not anything to worry about unless you were an interior decorator. There was a cabinet in one corner of the room, a bookcase in another, a second cabinet on its other side, and a bed that could fit a couple of people to his right. Other than that strangely clean carpet beneath the two fancy chairs, this place was legit.  
Except for the dagger lying on the bed. After picking up the weapon and examining it, Kiku determined it to be Ludwig's. This meant that if his dagger was here then he probably might still be here. Whoop, Kiku had someone to maim! Yay for him~ Since he wanted this to be a somewhat fair fight, the now giddy Japanese man took the knife with him and stuffed it with the ceramic shard.

Going down the hall all the way to the other side of the mansion, he opened the only door there which was fortunately unlocked. This room wasn't that different from the previous one besides placement of the bookcases and cabinets. Nothing important. The curtains in the corner of the room were interesting him, though.  
Slowly approaching them, he hesitated before grabbing it from one side and yanked it open. Inside was Ludwig sitting all by himself. The German looked up when the dark corner he was in became brighter. Slightly alarmed and tense, he attempted talking in his usual careless tone, "G-guten tag…"

Rolling his crimson eyes, "You bastards left me behind, again. Give me 5 reasons in one minute right now as to why I shouldn't murder you."  
"L-let me explain! "Stuttering like his brother, Ludwig held up his hands in defense, "W-while you were gone, a… thing came out of nowhere and chased us!"  
"A thing?"  
"I-it was grey, huge, a-and-"  
"naked?"  
Giving him a weird look when the Japanese in front of him interrupted, "…Ja… why does that matter?"  
"It bothered me." Kiku looked away uncomfortably. Ludwig stared at him questionably; it takes a lot to make Kiku uncomfortable.

After a few awkward moments of silence, Kiku suddenly changed the subject and asked seriously, "Where are Feliciano and Gilbert?"  
"…what? Oh! I… don't know. We kinda split up when that monster came up." The couch potato shrugged sheepishly.  
Glaring at the nervous German, the smaller man growled, "Useless dumbass… Fine, c'mon, let's go find them."

"Ah…" The other made no attempt to get up and stared at the ceiling innocently.  
"What now?"  
"You know, I'd _love_ to help but running for your life can get real tiring, and I'm doing just fine here." Patting the floor under him, Ludwig gave him a not-so-convincing smile.  
"You've got to be f*cking kidding me."Japan prepared to unsheathe his sword. Does this stupid German coward know that he had a katana _and_ a dagger that he'd be more than ecstatic to use?  
"Nope, until I replenish my energy, I cannot go past this curtain." To put more emphasis, Germany pretended to be behind a wall that kept him from escaping like a mime.  
"FINE! I'll get you a f*cking drink! Will that help you, your highness?" The short-tempered Japanese man threw his arms up in the air in frustration and stomped out of the room.

"Thanks, Kiks~!" Ludwig grinned cheerfully.  
"Go f*ck yourself."

* * *

Aw, they're such good friends. Well after meeting Steve, Kiku doesn't seem as worried or concerned as Ludwig. Now he was off to gather the thing known as H2O. Excitement~!


	3. I think it's water

Kiku grumbled as he descended the stairs to find a drink for lazy Ludwig, perhaps something for himself if it ends up being sake or beer or whatever. As he reached the last step, the dark-haired man stood there in thought for a few seconds.

Where could he find something to drink? The kitchen? He shrugged and took a left where he believed to have remembered seeing some dishes and other kitchen stuff in some cabinets. That's the first room he went to when he heard the crash, right?  
Kiku entered the supposed kitchen/ dining room to find absolutely nothing. Looking at the sink, Kiku said, "Would it even be _clean_ water? …Ah, he's not my favorite country anyway." Turning the faucet, he was a bit disappointed for it to be dry and produce no water at all.

Sh*t… Well, there's a bathroom…

The Japanese representative sneezed once he stepped into the still dusty air. You know now that he thought about it, this place is abandoned, would there be any water let alone clean water? What was he thinking when he said that he'd get him a drink? Ludwig'll probably keep whining and Kiku'll have to knock him unconscious to get the bastard- oh hey, it works!  
Kiku widened his eyes as he watched what he suspected was water pouring into a random glass he got from the kitchen. Sweet~!

Once the glass he brought with him from the kitchen filled up a decent amount, he turned off the sink and inspected the liquid. It… kind of looked like water, 'I'm not drinking it, right~?' Kiku thought jokingly as he grinned to himself and returned to the room he left the German in, careful not to spill.

* * *

"Ludwig, you potato-eating bastard! Come out of the closet already!" Kiku hollered when he found the curtain closed again. No response. Growling, Kiku tried again louder, "Ludwig! The ONE IN THE HAT HIDING IN THE CLOSET ON THE SECOND FLOOR AT THE E-"

"Shut up you idiot!" Ludwig sprang out from behind the curtain and quickly covered the mouth of the loud Japanese and nearly knocking the glass he was holding out of his hands. Annoyed violet eyes glared at the amused red eyes, "Are you trying to get killed as well?"

Kiku tried saying something but it was muffled by a certain German's hand. Reluctantly, Ludwig released his death grip on his Japanese 'friend'. Said friend gasped in air, not realizing that he couldn't breathe before, "G-geez, are you _that_ afraid?"  
"No, I'm _that_ sane!"  
"…least you came out of the-"  
"Don't start."

Collecting himself and regulating his breathing, Kiku sighed and held out the glass of what should be water, "Here, your majesty."  
Ludwig looked at the drink hesitantly, "What is it?"  
"Water, I think."  
"You sadist."  
"Luddie, we both know that the two of us are masochists."  
"I… fine, give me."

The German took a sip before spitting it out on the ground and coughing, "That wasn't water!"  
"Oh." The Japanese attempted to hide his amusement at he watched the other's disgusted expression, "So, you comin'?"  
"What? No, go by yourself you psycho."

"Nani?! I searched all over the first floor for you!" The smaller man's mood immediately shifted as the other went back into the dark closet.  
"You think I'll trust you with my life when you can't even get me a glass of water?"  
"I could've given you toilet water you ungrateful jackass!" And Kiku would've just laughed harder when the other drank it.  
"At least it would be water!"  
"Ah, you pathetic coward!"  
"Shut up, _Feliciano."_  
"Don't compare me to that insane jerk!"

"I'm not going." Ludwig stated stubbornly, ignoring the enraged man's cursing.  
"-and so is your mother! And you know what? I hope that monster eats you!" and with that, Kiku started to leave the room.

Hesitating, Germany called after the retreating country, "Oy, Kiku!"  
"What now?" he huffed.  
"Here." Germany then tossed something shiny at the other who caught it with one hand. Opening his hand, he saw that it was a key with 'library' engraved on it, "I found it while running. Maybe it will be useful?"  
"Ah… tch." Choosing not to thank him; the smaller country left and making sure to slam the door behind him.

* * *

aw, Kiku is continuing alone... Even though he's Japan's 2p, he seems to be _very_ similar to 1p!Romano, huh? Well, hopefully they'll learn to work together before someone loses an arm or something.


	4. Kiku goes Crazy

Oh the library… a place well known for its variety of books, quietness, and …some other stuff. Kiku wasn't particularly a bookworm, but he didn't hate it. What kind of books will the previous owners have left?

First, he'll have to find the library in this kami-forsaken mansion. All the doors here are identical and there has got to be at least 20 of them or something. Well, might as well get started.

...no.

…no.

…dammit.

…godammit.

…you…

…ffffff…

…I swear, the next door better...

…f*ck!

…This door probably won't- hey, it opened!

The dark-haired man sighed, relieved. Alright, now let's see what is behind door 1#!

Turning the doorknob and entering, Kiku saw that it was clean too like the rest of this house except the bathroom. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary when an "oh my god" moment occurred. Looking up, he saw a familiar-looking big-headed thing pass by and then disappear. He froze. There it was again… what_ is _that?  
Whatever it is, Kiku knew it had something to do with his imprisonment here and it's not gonna get away with that! Unsheathing his sword, he ran forward, ready to strike… nothing.

It was gone.

'How can something that big just vanish?' He thought, placing his katana back and looking around the large room.  
This definitely is a library. There were lots of shelves filled with lots of books. Many colors and sizes and genres… hey, there's a manga! Japan picked out one for Soul Eater. Maybe that thing was a Kishin?

After reading a chapter, Kiku felt more powerful… and hungry. Maybe a bit too hungry because if his eyes weren't deceiving him, then that's one of Arthur's cupcakes there on the desk. He approached the sugary pastry with extra caution and carefully picked it up. Giving it a wary look, he didn't have time to inspect it better when he felt the floor underneath him shake.  
Falling flat on his backside, the country yelped and with the ground gradually calming, used the table beside him to pick him up. Kiku examined the room when he found himself staring at the slowly growing creature from earlier that's when he realized that it wasn't getting bigger but getting closer. It was already too late when the monster started to attack him.

Kiku jumped back and stared wide-eyed at the thing in front of him. It looked like Alfred's alien associate, Tony.  
"YoU…WOn't…ESc…aPe…" it rasped as it approached the paralyzed Japanese.  
Said Japanese managed to come back but didn't think to take out his sword and instead tried running away from the creature. He circled around the bookcases, jumped and ducked under tables, but it was pointless. Then, he had an idea.

Kiku suddenly halted, the monster following suit, tilting its giant head. The red-eyed nation turned around, smirked, held out his hand and made a 'come and get me' motions as to mock it. This worked and further enraged the beast as it started to charge toward the mischievous country until it felt a large weight on its back and fell flat on its face.  
Japan's grin widened as he took in the sight before him: a bookcase has collapsed on top of abomination and it wriggled as it attempted to escape from under. This did nothing but make the nation laugh loudly and victoriously (god, he hangs out with Feliciano too much). He was not done, though.

Then, Japan took out his weapon: a Twilight book. He proceeded to beat the beast with it as it gave shrieks of pain. All the country did was laugh insanely and shout, "Don't. Fuck. With. Japan!"  
The shrieks suddenly stopped and Kiku felt him hit nothing. Looking down where the thing should've been, he was disappointed to find nothing. Coward must've disappeared. He did leave another key behind, though. It went to the attic on the fourth floor.

Clearing his throat as he stood up and ignored the blood, the country walked out of the room and headed to the top floor.

* * *

wow, either Kiku is actually amazingly strong or Steve is a weakling... maybe it's the insanity and adrenaline

Thank you for skimming~


	5. That Damn Mochi

Kiku sighed tiredly as he climbed up the stairs to the fourth floor. He had been wandering around this crazy mansion and just finished beating that freakish, gray monster all by himself. He and lazy Ludwig had no idea where Feliciano and Gilbert were, but Kiku was positive that Feliciano would still be alive just as he was positive that Gilbert would be dead from either murder or suicide. Not that he cared. It's just that the Japanese man had a strong feeling that that damn Italian was hiding something, and he was going to find out even if he had to strangle it out of him.

Once he reached the top floor, Kiku took out the bronze-ish key in his pocket with 'attic' engraved on it and unlocked the door to the attic. This room was also clean as if it was either new or refurnished. There were just a couple of stools, some drawers, a table, and an uninteresting closet like the one he found Ludwig in except without the coward inside. Then, he saw another bookcase in the corner of the room. Hoping to find more Manga (why else?), the black-haired nation walked up to it and was about to pick up a "D. Gray Man" when he heard a weird noise behind it.

Kiku froze and carefully glanced behind bookcase when he saw something move. Jumping back, he quickly brought out his katana. Beside more weird noises and more moving, nothing happened. The country gave it a wary look before cautiously approaching the shelves and moving it to the side, revealing a… Mochi.

Japan's eyes widened at the struggling white blob making squeaky yells of frustration as it attempted to escape the wall it was currently stuck in. Though it was a bit cute, Kiku scowled. This thing reminded him too much of Alfred. There was the wide frown, its dark red sunglasses, red eyes, and reddish brown cowlick. It made him sick.

"So you're stuck, huh?" his flatly asked question went on ignored as the Mochi continued to wriggle and squeak without a single glance toward the Japanese man. This annoyed him, "Oy, listen to me." Kiku then began poking the squishy rice cake with his sword. It didn't cut the Mochi, but did irritate it as it bit into the blade and tried tugging it out of the country's grasp who couldn't help but let a chuckle slip out, "You're about as useless as Alfred."  
It spat out the katana and gave a high-pitched growl. Kiku felt like his ears were bleeding and violently grabbed the cowlick on the top of the distressed rice cake's head to see if it would shut the thing up. Though, no matter how hard he tugged, the little blob wouldn't and couldn't move. Finally frustrated, Japan growled and stomped away from the now exhausted Mochi.

'I need more muscle,' Kiku thought as he slammed the door behind him and descended the stairs, 'I have to get Ludwig…'

Now with a new mission, the black-haired country went down to the second floor and to the end of the hall where the German should still be. When he got there, he knew that Germany would still be in the closet, and he knew that sometimes he could get paranoid, but he wasn't expecting him to have built an iron door where the curtains were so quickly. It was a nicely built door too.  
He hesitated and gave the reinforced entrance a wary look before knocking twice, "Luddie? Ya there?"

A few seconds of silence before the German's voice responded, "Kiku? Wow, we can hear each other through this thick, metal door!"  
"Oh yeah… Anyway, you're gonna be coming with me up to the attic now."  
"W-what? Why?"  
"Because, you scaredy German, there's a Mochi stuck in the wall up there, and I want to take it out and kill it."

"You expect me to go out there without a weapon?!" Ludwig, by now, sounded like he was panicking which he probably was. This did not surprise Kiku.  
"I have your dagger right here." Japan held up the other's weapon, even though he shouldn't be able to see it, with an annoyed look on his face. He was getting tired of Ludwig's sh*t.  
"…I still don't want to go."  
"You son of a-" the red-eyed nation stopped before coming up with an idea that brought a smile to his face almost similar to the one he wore when he fought the creature, "…did I mention the Mochi looks like Alfred?"  
"…really?" one of the things the Axis shared in common was their dislike for the Allies, so when the chance to injure or humiliate them came up, they usually went for it. Even the chance to kill something that only looked like one of them worked.  
"Really really, baka."

"Maybe… wait, no! You're bribing me!"  
Kiku raised an eyebrow, "You sound shocked."  
"Eh… no… Fine, I'll come with you."  
"Ah, great! Now here's-"  
"If!" Ludwig interrupted the Japanese man, earning a surprised glare that could melt through that metal door.

"If?"  
"If you get me something to eat." Japan's jaw dropped before he started punching the door and regretting it immediately.  
"Sh*t! Ah, ow, wait, what the f*ck do you mean 'get jou zomezing to eat'?!" Kiku couldn't help but mock the other's accent from being too pissed.  
"That's the deal. Take it or leave it."  
Growling, Kiku sighed exasperatedly, "You know, you wouldn't be this bold if it weren't for this stupid, dumbass door."

"Probably… hey, have you found mein bruder or Feliciano yet?"  
"No, I've been too busy fighting for my life and looking for accursed keys!" Seriously, why are they making the Asian do all the work?  
"Ah, well that's too bad. …You want a beer?"  
Caught off guard by the question, Japan put on a dumbfounded look, "Nani?"  
"I have beer. You want it?" Of course Germany would be the one to find beer in an abandoned mansion.  
Reluctantly, the alcohol was accepted. Not before the big question was asked, "What the f*ck is it blue?!"  
"Dunno, all the liquids in this place are weird." This was probably revenge for giving him that water earlier.

Tightening his fists, the frustrated country stomped out of the room again, grumbling something about poisoning food and razor blades. Then, he decided to go and splash some 'water' on his face to cool down.

* * *

Hurrah, the mochi is here to freak the heck out of us! I just ate mochi ice cream und it vas tasty~  
Anycupcake, I hope Kiks finds Gil and Feli and Luddie comes out of the closet soon. Thank you for skimming!


	6. The Toilet That Gave Me a Trip

Holy. Sh*t.

Kiku stood there dumbfounded expression. What in the name of kurejitaria is this?

He was just on his way to the bathroom so he could wash up when he saw the door the monster disappeared into earlier was wide open. You couldn't see what was inside since it was all just a shadowy black. He should go investigate it… right after he went to the washroom!

The nation was about to splash some water on his face when he remembered that it wasn't water. It was just some weird-tasting and shady-looking liquid he made Ludwig drink who he was still pissed at. Kiku wanted to check out this bathroom a bit more. This is the only room in the entire mansion filled with dust which made sense since it was an abandoned mansion. Why the freak is this place so dang clean?!  
That's when it happened.  
Being the graceful country he is, Japan tripped and somehow managed to drop his wallet in the toilet. After cursing in his language, the dark-haired nation inspected the toilet and was more than shocked to find a cupcake randomly appear in his hand.

"N-nani?!" This freaked him out, not only because a something appeared in his hand after dropping his wallet in the toilet, but also because the cupcake reminded him of Arthur who he expected to pop up any time now. Here he was thinking this was the only normal room in the entire building when, in reality, it was the strangest and most f*cked up!

Still on the ground, Kiku took a couple minutes to catch his breath as he gently (for once) studied the highly decorated treat that made him feel uneasy. Once he calmed down, the frazzled nation shook his head and got up.  
'Alright, let's see what's up with this toilet from hell…' Scowling, he tried to find something unusual about the thing only to come to the conclusion that it… was still a toilet.

"Tch." After a while, he grew bored and tossed the cupcake into the toilet then flushed. He was about to turn around and leave when he found something by his feet: his wallet. Didn't he drop that in the… maybe…  
Kiku picked up the Hatsune Miku-themed piece of leather and took out a couple dollars before letting them slowly float into the bowl of water and flushing. Staring intently at the swirling liquid for a few seconds, the Japanese country waited for a cupcake to pop up from the ceiling or something. It didn't. Instead, he squeaked and jumped when he felt something in his shirt. Quickly shoving his hand down his shirt to grab onto… a bottle… or was it a jar?  
The dark-haired nation hesitantly brought it out to view before feeling his eyes nearly pop out from shock. What- how… is this… beer? Or kool-aid? It looks like that blue liquid from earlier that Ludwig called beer, but Kiku never actually tasted it… And the fact that it came from a toilet makes him think that it's just that thing you put in toilets to make the water blue. You can't drink that, right? You know what, he's drinking it!

Taking a deep breath, Kiku reluctantly popped open the lid of the supposed beer bottle before sniffing it… it kind of like an alcohol. After a few moments, he took a swig and swallowed the drink.

.

.

.

Not beer.

.

.

.

But not bad.

**_STEVE'S NIGHTMARE_**

So after getting a couple more cupcakes -which actually didn't kill him when he tasted them but instead heal some wounds he got from punching that iron door from earlier- and some more drinks he determined to be some kind of blue wine (stupid Luddie doesn't know his drinks), Kiku was good to go through that door!

"Alri~ght, letz _hic_ go!" After one too many glasses of wine, Kiku drunkenly stumbled into the room. He couldn't see scrap, "Sh-sh*t… it'z f*cking dark!"  
Fumbling for a light switch around the walls, he found one. Should he turn it on? …wait, why does he have to ask? He's drunk!

_Click_

The room was small enough to be a big closet which meant he couldn't run around the room away from the grey monster from earlier. It didn't even give him enough time to even back away when it lunged for the drunken country. Up close, the creature had a longer neck and a smaller head.  
He must've been really wasted because this is how the fight went.

**(Bold=Steve)  
**_(Italics=Kiku)_

**? EMERGED!**

_Japan:  
HP- 557  
MP- 550_

_Skill: Curse- conjures all resentment towards your opponent. (130)  
He used Cursed._

**Weakness!  
-1257 HP**

**"YoU… WOn't… ESc…aPe…"**  
**? took away -229 HP**

_Resist!  
Stun!_

_Skill: Curse- conjures all resentment towards your opponent. (130)  
He used Cursed._

**Weakness!  
-1641 HP  
Poison  
-301 HP**

**"YoU… WOn't… ESc…aPe…"  
? took away -198 HP**

_Resist!  
Stun!_

_Item: Cupcake- restores 500 HP of one character  
He ate a Cupcake.  
+500 HP_

_Skill: Dismissal- "I'm sick of looking at your face!" (150)  
He used Dismissal._

**Weakness!  
-1013 HP**

_…_

_Japan was victorious!  
25 EXP were received!  
100 HETA were obtained!_

(END)

Once the trippy fight ended, the lights faded out. This alarmed the nation, "Woah! Wait!"  
After a couple seconds, the lights returned and he sighed in relief, "Hm… I wonder how the others are doing…"

It turned out the room he was in was just some kind of washroom. Everything was legit then he found a bedroom key on a table.

Obtained: Bedroom Key

After that, he purchased Cupcakes and Wine from the toilet and fully restored his HP and MP.

**_STEVE'S NIGHTMARE_**

Soon Kiku, still drunk, managed to climb up the stairs to the second floor and find the door where his key belonged with.

Used: Bedroom Key

Once he entered the bedroom, Japan noticed another occupant in the room with him: Gilbert. The best part was that the Prussian hadn't seen him enter which meant that he had the element of surprise. Smirking, Kiku unsheathed his katana and locked the door behind him.

Lock the door?  
Yes.

Slowly and carefully as a blood-hungry, intoxicated nation could, Kiku raised his sword and was about to bring it down when he heard a squeak, was swiftly pushed aside and he saw a blur run to the other side of the room.

"Fakku!"  
"Scheiße!"

"What the hell, Gil?!" Kiku struggled getting up due to his blurring vision and attempted spotting the light-haired Prussian across the room.  
Said Prussian was struggling breathing and clutching his shirt, "Y-you tried to kill me!"  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Sitting on the bed beside him, Japan ran a hand through his silky black hair.  
"I-I…" Gilbert bit his lip and awkwardly stammered, "D-did you see that thing?"  
"Of course, how could I miss it?" Kiku fell backward on the mattress and stared at the spinning ceiling.

After a while that felt longer than it should've been, Gilbert noticed something, "Uh, Kiku…"  
"What?" the tired country groaned.  
"A-are you inebriated?"  
"…yes."  
"…oh."

* * *

Drunk, wasted, intoxicated, inebriated, tipsy, under the influence, THEY'RE ALL THE SAME! Ah, Kiku has been on quite a trip! I wanted to experiment making the story like the game, ya like? Well, now Gil has joined the party! WHOOP! Sorry for not updating sooner...

Thank you for skimming!


	7. A Sobering Encounter

"S-so do you know where the others are?" Gilbert cautiously approached the half-conscious country who was still resting on the bed and sat on the one across from it.  
"…Lutz is on the zame floor as us… I don't know where the fu _hic_ ck where that Feliciano iz." Kiku rolled over, face red from the alcohol, "Ya want _hic_ ya want zome blue wine?"  
The Prussian sent a worried look at the Japanese, how is this guy still alive? "Ah, n-no, thank you… s-so why isn't Ludwig with you?"  
"gah, your idiot, coward of a brother is too hungry to fight…" Gilbert opened his mouth to say something when Kiku interrupted him, "You better not fu _hic _cking say you're hungry too!"

The former country immediately closed his mouth and looked away, embarrassed, "Eh, actually, I was going to say I have something I think he could eat…" 'Stupid drunk bastard.' The Prussian thought to himself, both eyes flashing red for a split second.  
The dizzy country sat up and tried to focus on the German in front of him, "Oh, rly?"  
"Ahem, yes…" Gilbert held out some mushrooms shyly.  
Staring at the article of foods in the other's hand, the dark-haired nation shrugged, "Meh, it'll do. Alright, you're coming with me. Whether you like it or not."  
The Prussian was about to get up and help Kiku with standing up when he froze and wore a terrified expression. Kiku tilted his head, "Wat?"

"D-do you hear that?" The pale man got paler and sweated.  
Straining his ears, "…I got nothin'."  
"S-something's coming!" The two of them snapped their heads toward the door; Kiku easily sobered up and unsheathed his katana. Shooting up to his feet, he positioned himself. He locked the door earlier, but would it be able to hold off the creature?

The powerful footsteps got louder and closer.  
Then, when it couldn't get any louder, it stopped.  
Gilbert gulped and Kiku tensed.  
The doorknob shook for what seemed like a while.  
Then, the shaking ceased.  
And the powerful footsteps faded away.

Both of them let out a huge sigh of relief. The scare was enough to sober Kiku up, "H-holy sh*t.  
"We have to go check on bruder. You said he was on the same floor as us, right?" Gilbert panicked.  
"…what? Oh! Yeah, yeah, let's go." (Prussia joined the party~)

Unlocking the door, the two exited the room before being assaulted by the monster.

Jumping back to avoid the hit, Kiku and Gilbert ended up being on either side of the creature.  
"I thought it left!" Gil exclaimed in fear as he quickly backed away into the wall.  
Slicing at the abomination, Kiku let out an annoyed growl, "You know what? You're _really _starting to piss me off!"  
"Me?" the German's voice squeaked, and he widened his eyes.  
"No, not you- I mean, well, kind of, but him!" the frustrated Japanese stumbled and pointed at the gray monster.  
"Oh, o-okay!" The Prussian gulped, this thing gets scarier the more you look at it. He tried desperately not to freeze on the spot… Unfortunately he did, though, which left our beloved Japanese friend to do all the work again.

Looking at his "companion", Kiku rolled his eyes upon finding him paralyzed, "good grief."  
Reaching in his pockets, Japan threw some pointy star things (-.-") at their opponent, surprisingly striking the right shoulder and forehead despite the fact that those pointy star things don't actually work that well.  
The creature growled, stumbling backward. Kiku took this chance to lunge at him, but missed by a hair. He cursed under his breath.

"YoU… WOn't… ESc…aPe…" , it croaked with a menacing tone, Kiku shivered, but didn't let that weirdo stop himself from slashing and creating a mark on the pasty, grey skin on its leg. It fell backwards from the pain while Kiku took bite out of a Cupcake casually, his own wounds healing. When he finished, he raised his sword up before bringing it down on the monster's head, not getting through all the way. After a struggle, it laid there, motionless, a liquid assumed to be blood leaking everywhere.

Kiku turned to the Gil who managed to come to a few seconds ago and with a grin, fist pumped, "Alright! My Party was victorious! We got 50 EXP and 100 HETA!"  
The Prussian could only respond with a, "…huh?"  
"Oh look, another cupcake!" the insane Asian randomly held up a familiar sweet that look a lot like it was baked by a certain Englishman they knew, "Plus we're level 3 now~"  
Gilbert didn't respond with words this time, only with speechless gaping. This confused Kiks, "What? …Look, I know Arthur's cooking can be scary, but, c'mon, we won!"  
"N-not that…" the terrified nation's voice cracked.

"…Then what is it?"  
"L-look behind you…" The red-eyed country tilted his head in confusion, 'behind me'? And when he did turn around, he understood what Gilbert meant.

While gloating, the creature had risen up from the dead with its dark, dead eyes glaring and slowly trudged toward Japan who had his back to it. Now before him was a battered, bloody, shuriken-covered, katana-wearing monster. Kiku widened his eyes and stepped back, 'H-how is it still alive?!'  
The abomination continued forward and faster, roaring a loud, inhumane shriek.

"KIKU FUCKING GET OUT OF THERE!" Gilbert rose his voice before running away.

Taking one last look at the creature, Japan stole back his katana before speeding after the German.

They took a left.

They took a right.

Then, they opened the only door they knew was unlocked: Ludwig's.

Falling into the room, literally, Gilbert struggled before locking the door behind them and getting as far away from it in the room before collapsing. Kiku fell on his back and stared at the wooden board that was the only thing separating them from the beast with anticipation.  
Would it open the door with force? Did it know where they were? How did it survive his attack? What is that thing?

Japan laid back down after he believed they were safe and attempted to catch his breath, hearing the beating in his ears race uncontrollably. He let out a long sigh of relief. Chest rising up and down and slowly regulating, sweat sliding from his brow, red face returning to normal color, eyelids silently drooping down, tension releasing, Kiku stayed on the floor, listening to his heartbeat.

Ba-dum

Ba-dum

Ba-dum

Tic-toc

Ba-dum

Tic-toc

Tic-toc

Tic-toc

Ba-toc

Ba-toc

Toc, toc, toc

* * *

_Aw gee, it feels like I was gone for months... probably because I was -.-"_

_I am soooo sorry! TT^TT_

_I have nothing else to say other than_

_Thank you for skimming~!_


	8. Luddie Joins Party

Kiku awoke a while later and found himself on a bed. Groggily sitting up, his silky black hair in dissaray, the red-eyed nation yawned and rubbed his eyes. How did he get here?  
Last he remembered, he was on the floor after escaping from the enemy. When did he fall asleep? Looking at the rest of him, his clothes were a mess, but he felt and looked better than earlier at least.

Kiku looked to his right and yelled, "GAH!"  
Ludwig, who had been sitting on a stool next to his bedside, fell off. He had been sleeping in a sitting position somehow, "V-vhat?!"  
"Y-you- why…" making ridiculous arm gestures, the Japanese man just pointed at the other with a look of complete bewilderment on his face, "Ehh?

Managing to get back on the stool, Ludwig brushed himself off grumpily and looked at Kiku, irked, "Well, out of the goodness of my heart, I managed to carry your heavy asses onto this bed, when I found you unconcious on the ground. I heard the comotion and took a peek and was disappointed to find you two instead of someone useful."  
Ignoring that last insult, Japan thought back, 'wait… where is Gilbert?'  
Then, he remembered that Ludwig said 'asses' which means more than one person… he looked to his left and screamed as he fell out of the bed, waking Gil who was in the bed with him.

"Why did you put me in the same f*cking bed as gilbert?!" Kiku scrambled away from the startled, close-to-having-a-heart-attack Gilbert.  
"Well, there was only one!" Ludwig argued, "You should be happy I didn't throw you back outside!"  
Gilbert had his hand over his heart with an alarmed expression, hyperventilating.  
"Gil, shut the f*ck up. We're _trying_ to have a conversation here!" Japan rolled his eyes, muttering on the former country's rudeness.  
"Kiku you dummkopf." The blonde nation sighed as he walker over and attempted to calm down his brother, "Bruder, bruder, bruder! …Good… now shut the f*ck up."

"I could've done that."  
"_Without _knocking him into a comatose state?"

"Yeah, thought so."

Shaking his head to hide his embarrassed expression, "W-whatever! Listen, we got your damn food, happy?"  
"Oh, you mean the mushrooms? And before you ask, Yes, I did search you guys while you were sleeping." Ludwig laid his head against the headboard with an aloof air while his brother's sat next to him, tense and hugging a pillow and Kiku with an irritated one while he sat criss crossed on the floor.  
"Wha-? I- don't… jackass..."  
"While they weren't it wasn't my favorite meal, they were A LOT more better than that 'water' you gave me earlier."  
"Will you _stop_ with the- you know what? J-just forget it. Are we ready for the journey now, your highness?"  
"Yes, my not-that-good sir."

"L-let's just go to the 4th floor to check on the Mochi Kiku was talking about." Gilbert interjected so before a fight happened. Their lives were already endangered by that gray creature, he didn't want each other added to the list. I mean, they do this everyday. Can they afford to hold off at least until, they find Italy and escape?

"Hey, I never told you about the mochi." Japan's suspicion rose.  
"Well, that's probably because you were drunk when you told me." Japan's supicion lowered.  
"Fine, but I'm coming back here later." Ludwig pointed to the steel door he was using as a hiding spot earlier.  
"Why?" Kiku narrowed his bloody red eyes, "Were you doing dirty-"  
"No." the blonde German inturrupted, "Well, you could say I'm… used to them. There's a lot of room, though."  
Even though they kept their mouths shut, eveyone in that room was thinking, 'That's what she said.'

(Germany joined the party.)

So off the three allies were. Off into the unknown world that was a hallway, not knowing what to expect or what was going on. They cautiously ventured through the never ending path, confused, paranoid, hungry, thirsty, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Kiku, Ludwig, and Gilbert walked in awkward silence, not knowing what to say or when to say.  
"So…" Germany walked behind Japan with Prussia close behind, "where's Feliciano?"  
Taking a left, the dark-haired nation shrugged, "Geez, who do I look like? Lovino?"  
"Just asking…"

The trio took another left before heading toward the staircase that would lead to a higher floor. The German brothers were beginning to space out when Kiku abruptly stopped causing Ludwig to nearly fall on top of the smaller man and Gil to slam his face on his younger sibling's back, "Oof!"  
"Gah! Kiku, now's not the time for-"  
"Sh, shush! Be quiet for once in your life!" The Japanese man furrowed his eyebrows and stared into nothing. His company looked at him, questioning his sanity once more.  
After several more seconds, Germany asked, "Uh, Kiks… what are you doing?"

"I'm saving my file."

* * *

"Well?" Kiku stood by the door, arms crossed, weight shifted on one leg, and looking expectantly at the two Germans.

Gilbert analyzed the strange… thing. It was an oversized Mochi with a resemblance to Alfred if he ever was some kind of rice cake. The white ball growled at him and his brother, snapping it's not-so-scary "fangs" at them. Gilbert sweatdropped, "Eh… i-it's really a mochi stuck in the wall…"  
"Why would I lie about that?" Kiku was known for being an uncontrollable liar sometimes.  
"Who cares? Now, why do you want to take out this nuisance, again?" Ludwig poked the thing with his boot, nonchalantly, barely missing the 'MericaMochi (its new name) teeth.  
"I want it dead. With my sword and possibly my fists and pointy-star-throwing-things."  
"…seems reasonable. Let's do this."

Grabbing it by the cowlick, Germany tugged once. Nothing. Again, harder. Nothing. Both hands, using his foot for leverage. …F*CK! Kick! Smack! Punch! Stomp! NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING!

As Prussia watched his brother struggle, he suggested, "Have you tried asking it nicely?"  
"shut up!"

Pulling one last time, the blonde German growled, "Forget it. The only logical way to get it out is to…"  
"Burn this place to the ground?"  
"Kill it in the wall?"  
"Take a bulldozer to this place?"  
"Call Saul?"  
"…No…no, no, no…" Why was he friends with these pyschos? "I meant to get, like, a toolbox or something."  
"Toolbox is good too, I guess."  
"Not as fun."

* * *

Short, but funny, I guess... Each chapter is about 1,000 words each... tell me if you'd like them to shorter or longer K? hope Feli's okay~

Thanks for skimming~!


	9. Up Heaven, Middle Earth, Fun Hell

Sighing for the umpteemth time that day, Kiku looked to the Germanic brothers and decided, "Alright, while I go look for some tools to use on that Mochi, Ludwig will continue to work here, and Gilbert will explore around this forsaken mansion in search of another way out."

Gilbert, hearing his job, looked less-than ecstatic, "W-what?! Why me?"  
Ludwig chuckled, "Heh, better you than me, I guess."  
Rolling his crimson eyes, Japan explained, "Everyone here has a job if we want to get out of here as soon as possible. That includes you."  
"B-but how does getting a Mochi out of the wall help us with our escape?"  
"Don't question my authority!"  
"But-"

"Bye!" before the Prussian could object anymore, Kiku slipped out the room and ran to the only other room on the 4th floor.

(Germany and Prussia were separated from your party…)

The room was one of the largest in the entire building. There were a couple of cabinets to his right with books and stuff, a bed on the far side of the room next to a sack of… something, a table with 4 stools, 3 wooden crates over a carpet and a partridge in a pear tree. He's seen almost exact replicas of these items all over the mansion. The dark haired country wandered and looked around with a wide frown, uninterested as usual. Besides a torn in half piece of paper in one of the crates, everything seemed as normal as this mansion could be.

Then, he noticed a lever at the far corner of the room. Next to it was a note the said, "Top is Heaven, Middle is Earth, and Bottom is Hell."  
The lever was already in the middle, so Earth was pointless (as usual). Then, it's either Heaven or Hell… Well, heaven is boring. So, Bottom for Hell is probably the best choice.  
Looking at the blue handle, he muttered, "Whatever." Before pulling it down.

SNAP!

.

.

.

Oops…  
it broke…

Swiftly turning around, Japan was already prepared to get the hell out of there when he saw that the sack of something moved, and in its place was a hole in the floorboards. Things just got interesting.  
Carefully approaching the mysterious hole, Kiku thought aloud, "Hm… I'm not sure whether to be either extremely worried and cautious or really excited and impulsive..."  
The wood creaked under his feet, making his heart beat quicker and blood rush. In the end, his curiosity and masochism got the best of him, and he dove in.

You could hear the wind whistle as he fell down, flailed his arms and legs around, and screamed, "MAYBE THIS WAS A BIG MISTAAAAAAAA-"  
THUD! "Oof!"  
Kiku fell flat on his back but miraculously survived the impact without a single scratch. His body must be used to falling off high buildings for fun probably. Him and his hobbies…

Feeling happier, Japan took a good look around the room he assumed to be the basement from the distance of his fall. Instead of wooden floor, it was more of a concrete. There were a bunch of bookshelves and cabinets that didn't really spark his interest, but in the center of the wide room was a sleek, black Grand Piano. It really stuck out compared to the regular items in this room, and also the fact that there was a Grand Piano in the basement seemed rather odd.  
Yet, despite its simple-ish appearance, something about the large instrument made Kiku uneasy.  
Perhaps…

…no…

He gasped, eyes widening, "Roderich's First Player was here?! How?"  
Running up to the offending piece, he growled and slapped the side of the instrument. How dare those rotten 1st players come to their world? Those damn trolls.  
Kiku glared for a while at the nice, black and white keys until he couldn't resist. Playing Chopsticks, he mimicked the catchy tune with a childish grin, "dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun… hahaha…It's in pretty good shape…"

Soon, he stopped playing and left the room.  
The door he exited through led to an even larger room filled with shelves and shelves of books. It was seemingly endless! Surprisingly, this wasn't the room called the Library…

Well… TIME TO READ~!  
Just as he was about to approach the nearest shelf that held a Manga for Fruits Basket, a knife flew in front of his face, and for a split second, he saw his own surprised expression from the reflection of the knife.  
Knowing that trademark weapon anywhere, Kiku slowly turned to his right to see Feliciano Vargas AKA North Italy standing with a not-so-innocent smirk, "Ciao~"  
"I-italia…" Japan didn't know why he felt shocked to see Italy alive and well.

"Hm, you sound surprised to see me." Feliciano casually approached the stunned Japanese man, "You didn't think that fiend would've killed me off so easily, did you?"  
"N-no… it's just that…" Kiku shook his head, "Nevermind, where the hell have you been?"  
"Oh you know, touring the mansion, admiring the architecture… regular tourist junk."  
And as usual, Feliciano is a sarcastic, psycho bastard. Glaring, Japan grumbled, "No… I'm just wondering why the three of you separated in the first place. I get why Gil and Lud would run, but you?"  
"Those two are pretty stupid…" the Italian looked as if he was in deep thought, "Well after you left, that was when Steve came over and-"

"Steve?" who the hell was Steve?  
"You know, gray, huge, creepy?" Italy used arm gestures as he explained this.  
Kiku stared at the crazy country, "y-you… _named_ it?"  
"Ya." He answered the question as if it were completely obvious, "So, anyway, when that happened, those two immediately ran for the door only to tell me it was locked and just ended up running in different directions to who knows where. Which left me with Steve. I had no problem with fighting by myself and easily defeated the beast and went to look for Ludwig and Gilbert after I finished… but the thing came back… and no matter how I much I fought, it got stronger each time I encountered it… it really pissed me off."

"Been there." Kiku irritably thought back to his few encounters with 'Steve', "so, I guess that you eventually ended up here?"  
"Si."  
"Alright fine, I just have one more question." Japan narrowed his eyes and spoke seriously.  
Italy looked back with equal seriousness, "What?"

"How the hell are you guys getting through these locked doors?"

* * *

Yay, Feli-chan has arrived! Now we're about to kick some major Steve butt! Hope you're liking it so far!

Thanks for skimming~!


End file.
